How to Respond to Body Comments & Diet Talk

The holidays are supposed to be about connection, celebration, and maybe some really good food. But for a lot of people, they’re also about something way less fun: unsolicited comments about your body, what’s on your plate, and whether or not you’ve “been good” lately.

“You look like you’ve lost weight!” “Are you sure you want seconds?” “OMG did you hear about this new diet?”

If you’ve ever felt your stomach drop at the dinner table because someone decided to comment on your body or food choices, you’re not alone. And if you’ve ever wished you had the perfect thing to say back, this post is for you.

Whether you’re navigating eating disorder recovery, working on intuitive eating, or just TIRED of diet culture showing up at every family gathering, you deserve to protect your peace. And that starts with knowing how to respond when someone crosses a boundary.

In this post, I’ll break down why people make these comments, why they’re harmful (even when they’re meant as compliments), and most importantly, how to respond in a way that protects your mental health and sets boundaries without burning bridges (unless that’s what you want to do of course). Let’s dive in.

Why Do People Make Unwanted Food and Body Comments? 

Honestly, most people aren’t trying to be harmful when they comment on your body or food choices. But that doesn’t make it okay. So why do they do it?

Mostly because diet culture taught them to.

We live in a world that’s obsessed with bodies, weight, and food. Diet culture has convinced us that:

• Talking about weight loss is a compliment
• Commenting on what someone eats is “caring”
• Judging food as “good” or “bad” is normal
• Smaller bodies are always better

So when your aunt says, “You look great! Did you lose weight?” she might genuinely think she’s being nice. When your uncle comments on your second plate, he might think he’s being helpful. When your mom talks about starting a new diet, she’s just repeating what she’s been told her whole life.

It’s also a way to cope with their own discomfort.

A lot of people project their own insecurities onto others. When someone comments on your food or body, it’s often because they’re uncomfortable with their own eating habits or body image. Criticizing someone else’s choices can feel like a way to reassure themselves that they’re “doing it right.”

And sometimes, it’s just a habit. In many families and social circles, body and food talk is just…what people do. It’s how they connect, bond, or fill awkward silence. They might not even realize they’re doing it. 

Regardless, you’re allowed to set boundaries. You’re allowed to protect your peace. And you’re allowed to push back, even when someone “means well.”

How are Body Comments Harmful (especially for those with an eating disorder)?

Body comments aren’t just super annoying, they can be genuinely harmful, especially if you’re navigating an eating disorder, disordered eating, or working to heal your relationship with food and your body.

Here’s why:

They can trigger disordered behaviors.

For someone in eating disorder recovery, a seemingly innocent comment like “You look healthy!” can be interpreted as “You’ve gained weight.” And that can spiral into:

• Restriction
• Body checking
• Increased anxiety around food
• Relapse into old unsupportive eating disorder behaviors

Even compliments about weight loss can be dangerous. If someone praises you for losing weight (especially if it was unintentional due to stress, illness, or disordered eating), it can reinforce the belief that smaller = better, and make recovery feel even harder.

They ignore the mental and emotional work you’re doing.

Recovery isn’t about how your body looks. It’s about rebuilding trust with food, challenging diet culture, and learning to exist in your body without shame. But when people focus on your appearance, they’re completely missing the point. And that can feel invalidating, isolating, and just plain frustrating.

They assume weight or food choices equal health.

Not everyone who loses weight is healthier, and not everyone who gains weight is unhealthy. Body comments flatten the complexity of health into a single, visible factor, and that’s not only inaccurate, it’s harmful.

They can damage your relationship with the person making the comment.

When someone you love makes a triggering comment, it can create distance. You might start avoiding family gatherings, skipping meals with certain people, or feeling uncomfortable around those who “mean well” but don’t understand the impact of their words.

Why Body Compliments Can Be Just As Harmful

“You look amazing! Did you lose weight?” It sounds nice, but it can actually do a lot of harm. When you compliment someone’s weight loss, you’re telling them that smaller is better, and that’s exactly what people in recovery are trying to stop believing.

You also don’t know how they lost that weight. Maybe they’ve been restricting food, over-exercising, or dealing with stress or illness. Your compliment might accidentally encourage behaviors that are hurting them.

Here Are 5 Ways to Respond to Body Comments and Diet Talk This Holiday Season

Navigating body comments and diet talk is hard, especially during the holidays when emotions are already running high. But here’s what I want you to know: you’re allowed to advocate for yourself. Here are five practical strategies you can use to protect your peace.

Set Boundaries and Be Direct

Straight, clear, and to the point! Setting a boundary means clearly and directly communicating what’s not okay. This approach might not feel the easiest if you’re just starting to speak up, but it’s one of the most effective ways to protect your mental health. You don’t need to explain yourself or justify why, you’re simply stating what works for you.

Examples:

• “Honestly, I don’t like talking about my body or weight and would appreciate it if you don’t make comments like that anymore.”
• “Please don’t comment on what I’m eating. It’s not helpful for me.”
• “I know you mean well, but comments about my body aren’t something I’m open to discussing.”
• “I’d really appreciate it if we could keep diet talk off the table today.”
• “Look, I understand you mean well but let’s avoid discussing my food choices.”

Redirect the Conversation

Sometimes the easiest way to handle an uncomfortable comment is to acknowledge it briefly and then steer the conversation somewhere else. This keeps things light without getting into a confrontation.

Examples:

• “Thanks, but I’d rather hear about what’s new with you! How’s work going?”
• “I appreciate that, but honestly, I’m more excited to talk about your recent trip. Tell me about it!”
• “You know what? I’m trying not to focus on that stuff. Have you seen any good shows lately?”
• “Let’s not talk about diets today, tell me about what you’ve been reading instead.”
• “I’d love to just enjoy the meal. So, what’s everyone’s highlight from this year?”

Educate

If you feel safe and have the energy, you can gently educate the person about why their comment isn’t helpful. Keep it brief and non-confrontational, this isn’t about lecturing, just offering a different perspective.

Examples:

• “Actually, I’m learning that commenting on people’s bodies can be really harmful, even when it’s meant as a compliment.”
• “Did you know that the diet industry makes $72 BILLION dollars a year profiting off our insecurities? I’m not buying into that anymore, I’m working on sustainable habits instead.”
• “I’m working with a dietitian who’s taught me that all foods fit, there is space for all foods in your diet.”
• “Did you know that diets actually fail about 95% of the time? I’m focusing on listening to my body instead and it’s been working well for me.”

Use “I” Statements

“I” statements help you express how a comment makes you feel without blaming or accusing the other person. This approach is less likely to put someone on the defensive and can open the door to understanding.

Examples:

• “I feel really uncomfortable when people comment on my body. I’d prefer we talk about other things.”
• “I’m working really hard on my relationship with food, and honestly, comments like that make it harder for me.”
• “I know you didn’t mean any harm, but I don’t like when people talk about my food choices.”

Know When to Disengage

Sometimes, no matter what you say, the person won’t stop. And that’s okay, you don’t have to keep engaging. You’re allowed to step away, change the subject one more time, or simply remove yourself from the situation.

Examples:

• “I think we’re just going to have to agree to disagree on this one. I’m going to grab some air.”
• “I have to use the bathroom. Excuse me.”
• “I need a break from this topic. I’ll catch up with you later.”
• “I’ve said what I need to say. I’m going to go check in with [another person/get a drink/step outside].”

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some of the most common questions patients have about navigating body comments and diet talk during the holidays.

Why do people comment on my body?

Most people comment on bodies because diet culture taught them it’s normal. They might think they’re giving a compliment, showing concern, or just making normal conversation. Often, it’s also a reflection of their own insecurities about food and bodies.

How can body comments affect those who are in eating disorder recovery?

Body comments can trigger disordered thoughts and behaviors, even when they’re meant as compliments. For someone in recovery, a comment like “You look healthy!” can be heard as “You’ve gained weight,” which can lead to restriction, skipping meals, body checking, or relapse. These comments also reinforce the harmful belief that worth is tied to appearance. 

What should I do if a family member won’t stop making diet talk comments even after I’ve set boundaries?

If someone continues after you’ve clearly set a boundary, you have every right to disengage. You can leave the conversation, change the subject again, or physically remove yourself from the situation. You’ve done your part by communicating your needs and if they choose not to respect that, protecting your peace becomes the priority.

Is it okay to leave a situation if the body comments or diet talk become too triggering?

Absolutely. Your mental health is more important than staying in an uncomfortable situation to keep the peace. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, you can simply excuse yourself, step outside for air, or leave the gathering entirely, if you need to. Taking care of yourself is never rude.

What if someone gets offended or upset when I set a boundary around body or food talk?

Their discomfort is not your responsibility. Setting a boundary is about protecting your well-being, and if someone is upset by that, it usually says more about them than it does about you. You can acknowledge their feelings without backing down: “I understand this might feel uncomfortable for you, but this boundary is important to me.”

You Deserve to Enjoy the Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be a minefield of body comments and diet talk. You’re allowed to set boundaries, protect your peace, and prioritize your mental health, even if that means disappointing someone or making things a little awkward. Remember, you’re not being rude or difficult. You’re taking care of yourself. And that’s something to be proud of.

If you’re navigating eating disorder recovery, working on intuitive eating, or just trying to heal your relationship with food and your body, you don’t have to do it alone. 

Click the button below to book a free discovery call with me and we’ll talk about where you are, where you want to be, and how we can work together to get you there!

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